These days everyone is signing up for email, blogs, myspace, facebook, skype, twitter and a host of additional social networking 'services' intended on us all staying connected - electronically. But they also create some interesting situations at one time or another we all are going to need to address.
This morning I was faced with just such a situation. Some woman, that presumably I should have remembered from my days in Schoolcraft (my home town), had 'found me' on facebook and was interested in how my life was going. Unfortunately, I couldn't cough up a memory of her after trying for a few moments.
I found myself in that awkward situation where you know, they know, that you've received this email and friend request. So, what do you do?
Interestingly, this social networking and instant community is supposed to make us all more connected; more close. However, my experience is that all this technology (caller id, email, etc..) actually creates a buffer between two people that inserts a critical step into the basic communication protocol. That step is 'decide if I want to interact with this person or not'. If not, I can just ignore them; let the phone go to voicemail, delete the email, ignore the facebook request. So, something that was designed to foster improved communications amonst groups of people also allows us a certain freedom to be cold to people we'd rather not deal with.
As with most situations in life - it calls upon us to decide how we are going to treat other people. So, oddly enough - whereas yesterday this person knew nothing of me (presumably).. today she was going to learn something - one way or the other.
The best I could think of was to return her email with a short message. I simply acknowledged her message and shared with her that it was unfortunate - but I did not have any recollection of her from the old days. Thanks for writing.
Nothing more. Far from graceful, I readily admit. I guess she learned something. I didn't want to rudely ignore her. But, at the same time - I didn't feel any connection or desire to create one at this juncture.
And then I ignored her facebook friend request.
Right? Wrong? What do these words even mean anymore as it relates to electronic relationships?
Do you have any such stories to share? Suggestions?
Hip History....
7 years ago
6 comments:
I usually except their friend request, then block their status updates. Shhhh....don't tell them!
I do the same thing for relatives... especially aunts... shhhhh!
(just kidding!!)
HHHHHANNAH!!!
You know what I find fascinating about this whole situation? I’ve noticed that only certain generations seem to pose questions about the scenario you’ve described: Boomers and Gen-Xers. They have a tendency to notice the “buffer zone” more often, and wrestle with how to handle the situation correctly because it’s unfamiliar territory within their communication framework. However, Gen-Y appears not to see the issue as an issue, just part of the normal process of relating to other people. It’s a cultural change that isn’t good or bad, just different, and it doesn’t lead to more or less problems or pleasures of relating to people, just different ones.
so joel.. you said gen x'ers and other groups handle is differently.. but you never actually said HOW you would handle it. do tell!
To be honest, I would ignore the friend request and delete the message, but that’s just me.
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