It's easy to write a blog post when you've accomplished something. When something good happens. When there's something good to share. But to be fair and open - every once in awhile you need to admit your failures.
Well, today was a massive biff in the effort to finish the guest bathroom remodel.
I was planning to grout the bathroom floor this afternoon. Grout is this sandy, mortar type stuff that you mix with water and mash in-between the floor tiles to form a water barrier. Normally, you put a bunch of the mix into a bucket, pour water in and mix to the consistency that is required. For some reason, I decided to start with filling a bucket with water and then dumping the mix in. I was obviously using my mad jello skills.
Well, that method might have worked had I not put about 5 times more water than I needed in the bucket. Within 10 seconds I realized that I just wasted an entire 15 pound bag of grout as it mixed with the water to form a nice runny soup. A total biff.
So there you have it. The good with the bad. Isn't that just how life is?
Hip History....
7 years ago
23 comments:
You're just trying to put yourself in contention for the 2009 Epic Biff Bloggie.
clearly leading the pack at this point.
But the good news is your favorite child got a 94% on her accounting midterm so she can support the purchase of grout bags until you get it right!!!
Tater got a 94??? In-Utero? Sweet!! Didn't even know the little tyke's fingers were big enough to use to count with at this point.
Great job Hannah! Well done you accounting machine. I think I only need 1 more bag... so if you could just send along $16 that would be great ;)
Yea, just take that out of my account mom! Plus I already told mom, but I am rewarding myself by not going to class today! GO HANNAH GO!
padre, epic biff #2: tater would be your favorite GRANDchild. You are now the front-runner.
'child' was used as a generic term in my comment - to allow the incorporation of tater into the story and rebuff the notion that there exists a favorite child.
not a biff. just a little poetic license.
there will be other biffs - however - stand by and one will happen soon.
TATER: The Accounting Triumph Everyone Respects.
padre, I must disagree. Tater is not YOUR child. Tater is MY child. You can slap on as much "poetic license" as you want, but your point is about as solid as poorly mixed grout.
And this here is why i will forever be the favorite child...
just for the record... not planning on having any *favorite* grandchildren either ;) gonna love em all like heck!
definition: child
1. A person between birth and puberty. <-- TATER
2. A person who has not attained maturity or the age of legal majority. <-- TATER
3. An unborn infant; a fetus. <-- TATER
4. An infant; a baby. <-- TATER
5. One who is childish or immature. <-- TATER
6. A son or daughter; an offspring <-- not TATER
7. A member of a tribe; descendant: children of Abraham. <-- TATER
6 out of 7 agree: TATER == CHILD
boo-yah!
padre, the question is not whether or not Tater is a child (that is obvious); the questions is whose child it is. Websters cannot help you win that case, and since Carissa and I are the only two eye-witnesses as to the parentage of said Tater, you might as well concede the point now and save your debating energy for another day. You even admitted to it in your last post: "son or daughter <-- not TATER (in relation to you). Hannah's original comment states "your favorite child," in reference to you, padre, and since Tater is not YOUR child according to the only definition of the 7 that truly counts, you are out of luck. Mr. Henderson, I'm afraid your boo-yah has bounced.
joel - i think you are simply honing your reply skills in an attempt to win a 2009 bloggie. your efforts, alas, are in vain.
yes, hannah referred to **herself**, in her comment as '"my" favorite child'. that much is true.
however, just as Jesus rejected the notion that any one of his disciples was the favorite. or, for that matter that He is capable of showing favoritism to any of the members of His family (His children) - I too rejected the notion that favoritism is a part of our family culture.
again, following the biblical example of examining the question 'who is your brother' i repudiated the notion that only my immediate sons and daughters were my 'children'. instead, i included the little tater child as well. and i assure you i lovingly consider him one of our children.
it is within this context that i made my comments and i stand by them.
yes, my alzheimer's riddled brain still recalls with delight that you and hannah are my biological children. do not fear. you are precious beyond belief to me.
but, in a moment of salient thought - i purposefully responded in a cogent way to make a point (actually directing the point to Hannah.. not you..). he/she who has ears.. let them hear.
First, #1 in your list needs to be changed to "Not TATER," since Tater has yet to be born, and is therefore not between birth and puberty.
Second, #4 on your list also needs to be changed to "Not TATER," since Tater is not an infant at this point, having not been delivered. Tater is only a fetus at this point. No less human, and no less alive, but not quite to the infant stage of its development. Tater cannot be both #3 and #4 at the same time.
Third, #5 on your list needs to be changed to "Not TATER," since Tater is not an immature person, but is acting quite normally for its age (I have the word of our midwife to back me up).
So, combining these three points with the "Not TATER" from #6, you are now down to 3 out of 7, which means your majority has been lost. Thus, according to your own definition, Tater cannot be considered your child.
Lastly, if we are going to go the Biblical route, Tater would be considered a child of God, not a child of Tod. We believers are all considered to be children of God, brothers and sisters of each other. You are welcome to say you are Tater's brother, a fellow man created by God, but a claim to be his parent (one that comes from calling Tater your child) might suggest some elevated status within the body of Christ.
There are instances where people are referred to as "Father" or "Mother", as is the case with priests from such denominations as Catholic or Episcopal. But under those circumstances, it is has been made abundantly clear that these men and women have been ordained by God to carry out the charge they have been given. They recognize themselves as stewards of a calling that is not their own, and that they act not according to their own will, but according to the will of the true Father, who they represent on His behalf. Their ministry is to be a reflection, not the image itself. They still see themselves as fellow brothers and sisters by their own choice, and fathers and mothers by God's calling.
So Biblically speaking, we are moreso brothers and sisters in Christ, with God as our Father. Thus, again, showing Tater not to be your child.
Alas, clearly this discussion needs a referee... to which I elect myself.
Let us observe the possible outcomes:
1. Lose, Lose - Neither participants concede and we must read these stubborn comments repeatedly. A pro to this is of course increased English practice, increased wpm, and sustained egos for 2 minutes after submission. Cons of course are Tater must grow up in a world of clashing egos.
2. Win, Lose - This would be where Joel wins the debate and father loses. Pros: Joel feels superior. Cons: Tater receives less presents due to the alienation of a grandparent.
3. Lose, Win - This would be where Father wins the debate and Joel loses. Pros: increased presents for Joel, Tater, and the world. Also, radars will be made better due to increase focus on his job instead of the blog. Finally, Father does not have to chose a favorite. Cons: Hannah is not deemed the favorite child and Tater grows up with a resentful father with a bruised ego.
4. Win, Win - This is where both parties win. Father gets to be part of the tater-perience and relives his raising of his 2 favorite children from afar and Joel gets to be the father of the tater. Pros: World Peace and less arthritis in the near future. Cons: people reading this blog are less entertained.
Really I see win, win as the only option here.
Another astute observation I have made is that with options 1,2 and 3, Tater is really the one suffering which is just wrong.
Therefore, I deem this argument over.
Win, Win.
hannah, you speak with great wisdom. i am proud of you beyond measure.
i offer up this slightly modified win-win if i may presume to add anything to your already decisive remedy.
i lovingly concede joel's point.
being a father i understand the fierceness of his arguments and accept his ownership claim completely. he is the only father tater will ever have.. as i am joel's.
that is a win for me for i have seen the steadfastness of joel's heart and head and am well pleased.. a win for joel for he has fought ably with his words and should be rewarded.. and a double win for the tater - for he is surrounded by great love in all directions (not to mention unabated presents).
as our referee, i would be honored if you would find this acceptable.
how say you?
i believe that's what they refer to as a double-double at in-n-out :)
and just for the record.. i see bloggies in both your futures as well...
Thank You Hannah!
now I just want to make a bunch of comments be part of the bloggie for most comments.
It definitely get the award for the most scrolling needed to get to the end of the comments.
how about...'post joanne didn't comment to!'
I would like to make an official statement regarding the comment-a-thon that took place earlier this week. When it started, I had taken one of padre's comments as a gauntlet being thrown down, challenging me to a match of wits. And seeing as I have a slightly competitive personality, I accepted. However, in the process, I let slip from my mind an important lesson I've learned over the past year: life is not about being right, it is about being righteous. In my haste to be right by exploiting a small, insignificant technicality of language I upset people I love, and that is without a doubt the opposite of righteous behavior. What started as and was only meant to be something fun became something rather obnoxious and destructive. Thankfully Hannah smacked me upside the head and set us straight. Win-win is always best. No points need to be conceded to anyone, unless by saying so I artificially create another debate, in which case I abdicate myself and plead the 5th. Here's to learning lessons more than once! Thankfully God has enough patience to last us all a lifetime.
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