As many of you know.. Grandma Elsie came to California a couple weeks ago to hang with her two families out here (Ron lives in the East Bay city of Fremont).It was great to see her again. We miss her and enjoy having her here. However, apparently she thinks when she visits it's appropriate to just come in.. plop her aged heinie in a chair and doze through the days. Like being 82 means you don't have to do anything!
What'z up with that?
You can imagine how well that went over with Julie; having to wait on Grandma morning, noon and night. 'Julie, can you bring me..', 'Julie, darling, can you..'. Elsie was driving her NUTS!
And.. to make matters worse..we didn't have any chocolate in the house to make everything all better. Well, last friday.. it all came to a head.. and Julie snapped!She threw Grandma in the car... drove to the Scharffen Berger Chocolate company in Berkeley.. and told her - 'Grandma - it's time you did something for ME. Get out of the car, walk your well-rested butt into that chocolate factory, find yourself a pair of stylin' ear muffs and hairnet - and make me some chocolate! NOW! And don't come out until I tell you to!'
Elsie was justifiably shocked - as well as scared. Because, Julie quite obviously meant business. So, she did as ordered and got out, walked in and got to work.
Elsie had been working 3 days straight (all the while Julie was telling people that she was back visiting Ron and his family) when the Berkeley PD called to inform Julie that the city has some old-fashioned laws about elder abuse. Something about break times. Time off. Days off. Blah-blah-blah.
Julie, annoyed, drove back to the factory to give the radicals a piece of her mind.
Thankfully, the cops intervened and helped calm Julie down a bit (or 'tased her' as the police report reads). Once sedated she feasted on some chocolate Grandma had made, gave it some further thought, then relented - allowing Grandma to come back home.When I returned to our residence that night I found Elsie asleep in a chair - exhausted from her labors; and, Julie asleep on the couch right next to her - a smile on her face and an empty chocolate wrapper crumpled in her hand.
[Author's Note: the events of that day may not have occurred exactly as reported above. It is possible that I made the whole thing up. The actual events might have been more like Julie really loving having her Grandma around.. and that Julie and Grandma enjoyed a wonderful day of sight-seeing at the chocolate factory. I admit that. But how much fun is that to say? Two sentences. Boring.]
11 comments:
I had no idea where this blog was going!! Grandma was lots of fun and the chocolate factory was a huge hit.
oh... so now you're trying to put a little 'spin' on the whole adventure!
You're just a regular Flannery O'Connor aren't you :D Nicely done. The pictures add an appropriate amount of verisimilitude to keep people wondering. The ending is particularly well-crafted, bringing the story back full-circle with a ring-composition and using indirect imagery to close the denouement, allowing the readers' own experiences of the "calm after the storm" to inform their unique visuals of mom asleep on the couch. Again, nicely done.
Ummm... Joel.. in the words of the immortal Joanne (from an earlier post of mine).. 'Man, like dumb-it-down for me!'
Joel.. as most of our readers will know.. Flannery O'Connor is really Mary Flannery O'Connor.
When O'Connor was five she taught a chicken to walk backwards, and it was this that led to her first experience of being a celebrity.
I, of course, have had similar experiences.. except that I can't actually remember any of them. So, I have to use this blog to achieve my celebrity. Wish me luck!
Nice wiki-lame-edia search. Never mind her intense contribution to the short-story genre and her development of a new and revolutionary ending style.
Well, yeah, there was THAT too... but the chicken thing. Have YOU ever seen a chicken moon-walk?
That I have not seen; thus, you make a good point, though for everything she's done, it's not just a coincidence that it's her contribution to literature that she's best remembered for.
Grandma looks great in a hairnet! Nice picture of her! You should print that off and send it to her...she would love to read about herself! Who's son is Joel anyway? What's up with him and all those unpronounceable words? Does he remember his roots trace back to Michigan?
"Don't tase me, bro!"
I can almost picture her in the chocolate factory like Lucy Riccardo. looks like you guys had lots of fun.
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