Surveillance Transcripts

Many of you may not know – but I work in electronic reconnaissance and surveillance (which would explain how I even know how to spell those words). One of the side benefits of this career is acquiring the technical wizardry required to reconnoiter my children remotely; and – until today – secretly. Wanna listen in? Here’s a brief transcript from last night at Team Henderson 2’s Oregon hideout. Transcripts from Hannah’s apartment will be released shortly.

Transcript (8-3-2010 20:18:20)

Joel : Babers (aka Ryan), nice job with the laughing video.

Babers: thanks, Mr. Awesome (aka Grand Master JX, aka Joel). It’s definitely some of my best work to date.

Joel: unquestionably. However, you might want to pull it back just a smidge. I thought you were a bit over the top in the 3rd minute.

Babers: gotcha. Pulling back.

Joel: Okay. now, remember - we leave in less than 4 weeks for Michigan. We’ve got a lot of logistics to work out before then to make it a successful trip. So, let’s get started. First off – let’s review our plan for getting a row to ourselves on the airplane flights. Baber’s – show us what you’ve been working on.

Babers: Sure Grand Master JX.  ( loud farting noise; continues for several seconds )

Joel: dude! That was fabulous!  ( laughing )

Carissa: well done! you get high marks for sound level and duration. But, you still have some work to do young man. The smell’s not quite potent enough. As we’ve discussed, it has to emanate for at least 7 feet to have maximal clearing affect. I can barely smell it over here.

Babers: sorry mom. I’m trying. I’m just struggling to produce enough rancid odor to disperse a crowd without knocking myself out. Remember – my nose is perilously close to Ground Zero.

Joel: Babers, understood. However, to achieve our goal a certain amount of collateral damage may be necessary. If you have to take yourself out – do it.

Babers: Ooh-rah, Mr. Awesome. ( louder farting noise; continues until Babers passes out )

Carissa: Perfection! Babers? ( mildly shaking Ryan ); Babers? Well, it looks like he was overcome by the fumes. We’ll have to reconvene in 15 minutes. Let’s take a break…..